Big Girls Don't Cry: But What About Boys?

Before I started teaching sixth grade, I had a skewed veiw of this particular age group. When I thought of sixth grade students, I thought of students with gigantic stature. I thought of kids with attitudes bigger than Texas. I thought of pupils with textbooks bigger than my repertoire of knowledge.

But then I started teaching sixth grade.

I learned that these giants with major attitudes with a lot to learn, were actually just little guys who have just as much attitude as any kindergartner I've ever met, and... well their textbooks are still bigger than my repertoire of knowledge, but I'm working on that!

However, there was one paradigm that has proved to be true. Sixth graders are emotional. The hormones, the friendships that are in constant change, and the emotional roller coaster of sixth grade relationships, it's a wonder we all make it through a day without ending up in tears! Well, at least most of us don't end up in tears.

This year, I've encountered something that I've never seen before, and am a little bit flabbergasted over. Several times throughout the course of this school year one of my boys, who is fairly high maintenance, has ended up in tears!

First it was over several kids in my class getting on his case about popping his popcorn on the wrong day. I let my kids bring in popcorn if they want, but I limit who can pop and when through a schedule. My kid wasn't paying attention to details (as usual), and the other kids in my class were all to willing to point out his mistake. Before I could respond to the other kids, he was in tears. Everyone in the class stopped, none of us knew what to do! Never have I seen a sixth grader cry without blood or a broken bone. I could understand if it was a sensitive girl, but a boy?

Is this normal?

Since then he's teared up two more times. A phone call to mom is going to happen tomorrow, just to see if there's more to this going on at home. But I get a feeling, that this is just the way the kid operates. Which, that's fine, the kid can be sensitive... but he's gonna get beat up emotionally if he continues to cry in front of his classmates.

The first time that it happened, I thought maybe it was a bad day. The second time it happened was in front of the music teacher, and I wasn't there. The third time it happened was during play practice (we're doing a play!), and I couldn't address everything right then and there. The next time it happens, I'm stopping everything, and the kid and I are going to go out to talk away from everyone.

But I'm not the only teacher who has had to deal with criers this year. I've heard of several other sixth grade teachers in my building who have had both boys and girls cry over ridiculous things. A lost pencil. He pinched me. You looked at me. I remember being ridiculous in sixth grade due to hormonal emotions... but never in public, and NEVER in front of my peers.

Are we raising babies? What will the long term effects be of kids who cry at the drop of a hat? Is this the continuation of degenerative competitiveness, where everyone is a winner, and if you whine or cry long enough, we'll give you what you want if you'll just shut up?

I tell you what I want to say to the kid, but am too afraid of getting sued.

Suck it up kid.

It's what my dad said to me, what his dad told him, and it's what I'll tell my kids (if and when I ever have any). Sometimes you just have to get over it, and deal with it. And you know what, somethings are just not worth crying over. Toughen up kid. You've got a long life in front of you.