Home Alone: Not the Movie

This past weekend I experienced something that is not totally uncommon to me, but something I distaste. I was home alone.

Now, there was a time in my life where I enjoyed this very much... after being surrounded by my family members day in and day out (which is a benefit and a downfall to being home schooled), I craved the chance to be home alone. I longed for time where I would not become annoyed or frustrated with a sibling, or have to worry about arguing with a parent. But now that I'm not surrounded by the same people I have been for years on end, I find myself in a very different place. I find myself loathing extended periods of time by myself.

Now don't get me wrong, being alone is a good thing! I think everyone needs time to just be by themselves and hear themselves think. To have time to pray and meditate, and listen to what's going on inside their heads. In fact I believe that having time alone is vital to personal health. But I also know that I am the kind of person who, when left alone for too long, becomes drained of energy as opposed to revitalized.

I was alone for only parts of the day yesterday. Which was perfect for me. It gave me a chance to contribute to the upkeep of the house, and it let me do somethings that I enjoy doing (singing loudly off key and dancing) without bothering anyone else. After spending quality "me"time, I got to go out with a friend, and I loved that. We were able to catch up on each other's lives, to enjoy each other's company, and share life together (not to mention an amazing dinner at Carrabba's!).

However, all good things must come to an end. I was content when I got home, but it got me to thinking. Thinking about what life would be like if this were the rest of my life... if sitting home, alone, on a Saturday night were all that's left for me. As I peer out through the bleary window of my future, I can't tell who's there, or even where the couch is that I'm sitting. It scares me, but it also excites me. Which is what sitting home, alone, lets me do.