Mr. GC?

So, I like to snoop around my former campus by reading all of the Grace publications. Today I read that this year's SAB blowout is having a Mr. GC competition, and he will be crowned at the blowout. As I read this, I started to think about what the requirements for Mr. GC would be...

1.) Must be in every picture Scott Feather takes.
2.) Date every girl on campus.
3.) Be engaged within three months after dating and spending every moment at the Tree.
4.) Sit on some sort of panel for Student Development (I mean Affairs).
5.) Have a secret relationship with a staff or faculty member.
6.) Be a Biblical Studies Major (What? They don't offer that any more?)
7.) Or a Behavior Studies Major (I know they still have that!)
8.) Mentor moronic Freshman.
9.) Have picture posted in some prominent publication.
10.) Play a sport that allows drinking... water (right...).

And right there, I can think of several graduates who probably could have won this award. Too bad we didn't have this back in the good old days of ABJ and eating at the Grill for Lunch and Dinner with regular scans. Mr. GC, I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find real life out there somewhere. It's waiting for you to arrive.