A New Start

For a while now, I have been hopping around from blog spot to blog spot... and I've found myself here, a new blog, and hopefully, a new start. I've been in search for the perfect place to record my thoughts, my musings (if you will) on life, and how mine is unfolding and turning out to be not quite what I expected.

There are advantages and draw backs to living an unexpected life. Some of the obvious advantages is that life is lived with a sense of excitement and adventure. I never know what new predicament I will find myself in. From mufflers falling off, to talking to sixth graders on why they shouldn't research the word "vagina" on school computers, my life is as unpredictable as they come. However, these humorous situations I sometimes find myself in, leave me wanting something more. Something more stable, something closer to my family, something that allows me to feel at peace with where God has sent me to serve.

I'm still searching for that peace, and I haven't quite found it yet. It perplexes me, as I know that there is purpose behind my placement, and yet I still question everything. This is something new to me. Never before have I questioned my life choices. Never have I called into question the character of God and his presence in my life. Never have I been in such a place as this. This perplexity disturbs me, and I want the wrestling match between my heart and head to stop. I want he bell to ring and have my head declared the winner. Then maybe, I will be able to hit the reset button on my grown up life and have everything play out the way it was meant to from the start.

I want a new start. One where my faith is strong, my mind is clear, and my heart full. This is the life I long for, this is the person I long to be, and yet the wrestling continues and I am left to question everything.