Struck

Break has been so good this time around. Even though I was sorely disappointed that I would not be throwing the shower for my sister, I'm pleased with how things have unfolded. I've been able to spend some much needed quality time with each of the family members (minus the youngest as she's off serving Jesus in New Orleans). Yesterday I went to my brother's track meet, where I met up with my sister and we headed out to the "bea's" from there.

I sat there, listening to her ideas of what she wants to do at her wedding, things that will definitely be different, and things that will be very much the same as any other wedding. Then she started a different topic of conversation, one that struck a chord in my heart.

She talked about the mentoring program she has recently launched at Northside for the female youth leaders. As she told me which leader she had matched with different women in the church (yes, I did ask if she did so on all 29 dimensions of compatibility), and then she related to me how she would like a mentor as well. The dilemma being, however, that she needs one who will not only scratch the surface of life, but one that will be willing to dig into the deeper issues of life and how to live it with Christ.

It sounded funny to me, especially because I find myself at a somewhat similar place. I really do long for someone to talk to about my questions, someone who will help guide me back to the truth that is in my heart, but is clouded over with emotion. Someone removed from my situation, and yet who has been there themselves.

It struck me that during my formative years, I always had someone to talk to... my first Boss (who I call Boss), my RDs from Grace, and my hall mom, there was always someone there. But now that I'm graduated, moved away from many who I would feel comfortable approaching, and not connected to a church like I used to be, I wonder if finding a mentor for "life" is possible.

Maybe this point of my life is to point out the importance of having another, of having someone, someone who serves as a guide. I find these figures all throughout scripture (Eli to Samuel, Elizabeth to Mary, Moses to Joshua, etc.) and so I find myself asking, where is Eli? Where is Elizabeth? Where is my guide to help me navigate through the waves that crash and sweep across this life of mine? Or am I left only to appreciate my past and travel alone? Dr. Forbes was right, the longer you live, the less answers you have.